the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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