We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
