Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
