A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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