You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
there was a trapeze. enough said
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
