It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
