I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Go christen that room with your naked body.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
