Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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