Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Randomize