his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
