yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
