Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
