We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I just forgot I was standing up.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
