Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I think I won the penis lottery.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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