Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
