when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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