Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
