Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
