I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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