After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
two words...techno handjob
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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