Nicole vs. Life
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
