In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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