if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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