So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
