all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
