HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
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