I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
