so explain again why im purple
no
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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