At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize