So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
i think my cat just said my name.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
