im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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