Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I think I just sharted jello shots
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