I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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