I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
