what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
