Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
