Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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