Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
he shaved USA in his pubs
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
