How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
