It's like God shit irony all over that family
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
