You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
