Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
