on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
