i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
