I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Woke up backwards on a recliner
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Randomize
