AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
