Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
