Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
