Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
my being single is dangerous.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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