singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
