I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
