and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
