normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
