Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
My life is pants optional.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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