I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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