I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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