what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
