that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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