I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I need water and some morals
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
