omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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