I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
