We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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