You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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